FOR ALL SURVIVORS. IF YOU ARE ALIVE TODAY, YOU ARE A SURVIVOR. WE ALL HAVE SURVIVED TRAUMA AND SUFFERING.
THERE IS NO ONE "RIGHT" TECHNIQUE, OR SERIES OF TECHNIQUES, TEACHINGS, OR RULES. EVERYTHING AND EVERYONE IS A TEACHER AND YOU ARE YOUR OWN TEACHER. LIFE IS A TEACHER. TRUST YOURSELF, YOUR EMOTIONS AND YOUR INTUITION, YOUR STILL, SMALL VOICE. YOU WILL LEAD YOURSELF TO WHAT YOU NEED.
IF YOU HAVE BEEN ABUSED, FEELINGS OF ANGER, RAGE, FEAR, HATRED, GUILT, GRIEF, SHAME, DEPRESSION, CONFUSION, NUMBNESS, CRAZINESS, ETC. ARE NORMAL.
When you feel these emotions, don't judge them or try to push them away. Part of healing is allowing yourself to feel your feelings. Most of us weren't permitted to express our emotions when we were being abused. Our feelings certainly weren't considered or validated.
You have to learn to validate your own feelings and to allow yourself to have them and express them in safe, appropriate ways. Some therapists disagree, but I don't believe you have to express your feelings to your abuser. You simply have to release them inside yourself.
Everything happens inside you. Your self-defeating beliefs and suppressed emotions keep you from accepting the gifts of the Universe. You are pushing them away. When your mind is clear, when you are free of fear, of "I" thoughts, of your ego, you can see the miracles of the Universe, the truth and love that are always around you, that ARE you.
Instead of pushing your feelings away or trying to control them,
let yourself feel them, let them flow through you. What you resist persists,
or as Seven-of-Nine, the character on Star Trek Voyager, says: "Resistance
is futile." Emotions can be released permanently by feeling them. If
you stuff your feelings, they will eventually come out in damaging ways.
When you feel your feelings, you accept what is and open yourself to the flow of energy that wants to give you every blessing.
Many people had to block out their feelings during traumatic events and may be afraid of feeling them now. While you might like to believe you don't have to feel, something I devoutly wished many times in my own healing process, the truth is that we have to feel. We're human; we were designed to have feelings, all kinds of feelings, not just the pleasant ones. I can guarantee that your feelings will not kill you. They didn't when you were going through whatever was done to you. You've already survived them, as well as the events that evoked them.
Instead of trying to stop feelings, become an observer of your emotions. Notice how your mind and body feel. Try increasing the emotion; it won't kill you. You'll find you do have control. As unpleasant as it may be, keep feeling the emotion until you feel a shift in your mind and body. You'll know it when it happens.
Another part of this technique is to ask yourself gently in your mind, "When did I feel this way before." Do your best to connect the feeling with something that happened in your childhood. Connecting the feelings with the abuse provides a permanent release.
SUICIDAL FEELINGS are also common. I had them too. As children when we were being abused, we were prisoners. Since we couldn't escape from our abusers, many of us wanted to die. Being aware that suicidal feelings come from the past abuse may make them easier to handle, but often they can be very strong.
IF YOU ARE THINKING ABOUT ENDING YOUR LIFE, IT'S IMPORTANT TO SEEK PROFESSIONAL HELP IMMEDIATELY SO THAT YOU CAN UNDERSTAND THE CAUSES OF THESE FEELINGS AND NEUTRALIZE THEM.
You've already survived whatever was done to you. Why kill yourself now when your life is going to improve? People often make the greatest progress when they are feeling at their lowest point. You can get through this.
Write a sign for yourself and paste on your mirror or refrigerator - and carry a copy in your wallet. Write: "What I am feeling now is coming from the past. These are old feelings. I can feel and survive them. I already have."